The perfect T-shirt - Freelance Frugality Fashion

I can declare that the everyday, simple, affordable T-shirt has died a death. Now it's all linen v-necks, slouchy shoulders, frayed edges and peplum hems on the high street.

Designers like Rag & Bone, American Vintage and James Perse have been left to furnish us plebs with durable basics at an average of £80 a pop. Spending that kind of wedge on a white t-shirt seems rather excessive by my freelance frugality standards.

I just want a T-shirt that I can throw on in the morning and then chuck in the wash at the end of the day without it mutating into a shapeless sack. One that I am not going to care too much if it gets splattered by toddler detritus and one that isn't completely see through.

A few days ago I was catching up on Selfish Mother, and found this sexy number in their shop - it's £20, made of soft lightweight cotton and comes in 5 colours. Mine arrived today and it's cut perfectly -  well proportioned sleeves, the right level of neck scoopage and not too baggy.

Another nice touch is that 10% of all sales from each t-shirt goes to charity. The Selfish Mother blogzine has been steadily raising thousands of pounds for the Womenforwomen organisation through the sale of their #mothertee which as become a bit of a thing on Instagram.

In other freelance frugality fashion news, I stumbled into my local branch of TK Maxx to find out what all the fuss was about and I scored BIG. Check out these gorgeous silk crepe Marni cropped trousers with button down front. I paid £25. Freelance Frugality win. 

Storytime Sounds Event at Godstone Farm. Hearing is believing

Do you get a bit self conscious doing the animal noises during Old MacDonald Had a Farm? Does your impersonation of an alien from Outer Space lack oomph? Well, may I introduce you to the free Storytime Sounds app an idea so simple that you'll wish you'd thought of it, but annoyingly didn't. 

Bobble and I were kindly invited by Notonthehighstreet.com to the Farmyard series launch of Storytime Sounds at Godstone Farm. The kids huddled amongst the hay bales for an interactive story telling session which cleverly used the app. The sound effect buttons really elevated their engagement, bringing the stories to life and adding some extra laughs - there's even a sound effect for cow udders!

Bobble's late Grandpa, a dairy farmer, would be so proud

The story tellers had the kids in the palm of their hands

Wearing his favourite t-shirt, a birthday gift from Auntie Suz last year, bought from Notonthehighstreet.com

Bobble's ongoing obsession with pressing buttons and tractors was served a massive boost when he was nominated to press the on screen tractor button during the story. This was a huge deal in his world, he was walking taller afterwards.

Later on we were lucky enough to get a ride on a tractor, pet a baby chick, feed a pig, stroke a cockerel, eat a lovely picnic in the sun and have a whirl around the indoor wooden play area. I was  impressed with Godstone's facilities and energy of the staff who clearly love working with the animals, it really is a perfect day out for families with young kids.

Bobble's tractor love has led to us accumulating rather a lot of farm themed kids literature. Since downloading the app we have been using Farmyard Storytime Sounds to compliment the reading of Fergie the Tractor, Tractor Tom, Tremendous Tractors, That's not my Tractor, Johnny's Tractor...I could go on. It'll be a year in May since tractors became a 'thing' in our house. *Sigh*

Other Storytime Sound themes include Pirates, Fairy Tales, Dinosaurs, Space, Monsters, Christmas and Halloween. With so many sound effects to play with on one free app, I am envisaging some brilliant Storytime Sounds Mash Ups where aliens and fairytale princesses collide...I just need to wean Bobble off those damn tractors.

Storytimes Sounds App is FREE to download from iTunes App Store.

www.notonthehighstreet.com/storytime-sounds 

Thanks to Notonthehighstreet.com for a gorgeous day. 

Gallery

For some reason Bobble wanted to see their belly buttons. I had to deflect him with a biscuit 

It was beautifully sunny all day

Not strictly a farm animal but he's the one I would take home 

Get inventive and mash up the sounds

The World's tamest chickens

The tractor ride was suitably bumpy and bendy 

This was how Bobble felt after his epic day at Godstone Farm

West Wittering, Sussex

Nothing says English seaside life more than the sight of an entire family attempting to erect a flapping windbreaker with one mallet. It really does warm your cockles and by jove, our cockles were in desperate need of some heat when we arrived rather keenly at 10am. 

By 11.15am, I'd naturally tucked into my sandwiches.

By midday the sun was high in the sky and Bobble was making friends with every little person, dog and kite flyer he encountered whilst we watched him from the sand dunes. 

By 2pm, Bobble was skinny dipping in the sea with his new mates. 

By 2.17pm we realised he would probably get hypothermia if we didn't rescue him from himself

It was chuffing cold at times, I didn't really need my sunglasses on, we weren't wearing enough clothes (although I was VERY pleased with my new indigo culottes from M&S...who knew!) and my camera got sand in it, but hey, that's English seaside life for you. 

What a smashing day. 

Review - Calcot Manor, Gloucestershire. Is it possible to have a romantic mini break with a toddler in the mix?

The last time Mr R and I went out for an evening meal alone was last September. Of course, there's been the odd dinner with mates but not ALONE for six months...that is surely a crime against love. 

When we were in the courting stages of our relationship, we spent a wonderful few days at Calcot Manor in Gloucestershire. Seven years later, and in desperate need of a rest brought on by overwork and under sleep, we returned, but this time with this guy...

He giveth joy and he taketh it away 

We heard Calcot Manor had great childcare, but would it stand up to the challenge of enabling parents to genuinely relax? Without any family to call upon for overnight babysitting duties, our only option was to bring Bobble along and hope for the best.

It took just under 2 hours to drive from London. We've finally succumbed to having an i-pad on board and letting the little guy enjoy a film instead of enduring our lame made up motorway games. Why did we have to be so precious about this before?

After a quick and easy check-in we were led to our family suite. It was immaculate. The cleverly laid out space meant that kids and adults had their own private areas which omitted the need for the night time creeping that we had become accustomed to when sharing a room with Bobble.

Sublimely comfortable bed 

A room with a view

Aromatherapy Associates toiletries and piles of fluffy towels

At 4pm, we decided to strategically sniff out the Playroom and Mez which is an Ofsted registered service that cares for tiny babies up to teens with experienced CRB checked staff.

I felt bad showing Bobble round the Playroom knowing that the next morning he would be left alone there but man alive, I was knackered. As Mr R pointed out, this getaway was about us, we needed to be a little selfish for a change. He was right, this was the whole reason for coming...the childcare!

We'd booked a babysitter that night who happened to be Sue from the Playzone. Bobble got upset the moment she arrived, but Sue, being a seasoned pro at this game, managed to placate him and practically shooed us out the door so that we didn't waste another minute. I love Sue, she just knows. 

One of the reasons Calcot Manor works is because it's unpretentious. The Conservatory restaurant managed to feel like a special treat without being overly 'Cotswolds' if you get my drift. The room was elegant, the service was breezy and the menu was accessible Modern British cuisine. The lobster bisque was so good, I had it two nights in a row.

5.45am the next day, 'Wake up mummy, I want milk.' Ugh, here we go. And then I spot it...winking at me, all shiny and bright, Bobble's got a TV and DVD player in his room and a cosy sheepskin beanbag. Quickly dispense milk, put him in his Mini Calcot bathrobe, Cbeebies on. Go back to bed. Hallelujah!

A rooms of one's own

At breakfast, The Playzone drop off looms, as does the guilt when I overhear other families talk of visiting nearby Tractor Ted's Farm. Will Bobble have anyone to play with this morning; don't other families drop their kids off at The Playroom? Mr R tells me to get a grip...'We need this more than him', he whispers as he tucks into another hand reared pork sausage. I can't cave in now. I've booked a massage and everything.

Sunny spot in the spa

The beautifully appointed spa is well worth a visit. I allowed myself a few hours to just sit and be alone with a pile of magazines before my excellent deep tissue massage. Being a destination for locals as well as hotel guests, it's wise to book treatments well in advance. On leaving the spa, Mr R borrowed this bike and took Bobble for a ride around the grounds before lunch. 

Your carriage awaits

We spent the afternoon visiting friends on a farm near Cirencester, taking in the stunning scenery whilst walking their brilliant dogs. It's these moments when you question your lifestyle and wonder whether you've got it right.

A man's best friend

That evening, Sue was back reading Owl Babies to Bobble in bed and we were down in The Conservatory chowing down on Dover sole. It was the second night and Rowlesy and Lynn were back in the room, it was like old times. We promised one another more breaks from the haze of work, family commitments and household chores. We can't let a toddler rule our lives, we were going to seize control, goddamit!

I know we will return to this place. The management has pre-empted what parents need to make their break as stress free as possible. The moment I knew Calcot Manor had nailed it was when the waitress asked me if I wanted to order Bobble a kids meal the moment we sat down. She knows there is no such thing as a toddler waiting quietly for his parents to peruse the menu and she knows it's annoying when a toddler refuses to eat his main meal because he's gorged himself on bread - like Sue from The Playroom, she just knows.

http://www.calcotmanor.co.uk

Tips for staying at Calcot Manor:

• The dinner, bed and breakfast family package which includes free childcare and spa supplements is good value, especially mid week.
• Kids tea time in the Gumstool is 5.30pm - 6.30pm and there is good room service available throughout the day
• Book spa treatments and restaurant reservations well in advance as they cater for locals too
• No need to bring kids cutlery, bibs, DVDs, books, baby monitors, babycots or bed guards 
• Ask for a room away from the road and on the first floor to avoid any noise (apart from your own kids)
• Use the Playzone and babysitting. It's a crime against love if you don't

The White Company Clearance (Jumble) Sale

It's not as if we need anymore bedding. But as soon as the enticing thick cardboard invite landed on the doormat, my freelance frugality tendencies kicked in.

I'd upgrade our knackered old towels, get some fluffy new bath mats, and spruce up the guest room with new Egyptian cotton sheets...all at knock down prices. Since WHEN did I give a shit about accumulating this stuff? The fact is, I don't, but the Chinese gene in me was strong that day and I couldn't resist the promise of a bargain.

I casually pulled up at 11am and was directed to the overspill car park which was a shiny sea of black family sized vehicles and hoards of women in skinny jeans and suede ankle boots between the ages of 32 - 52.

I entered the hallway, expecting it to be a simple, elegant affair (like the pictures in their mail order brochure) to be confronted by what can only be described as a middle class version of Black Friday, or more accurately White Tuesday.

The place had been open an hour and most of the trestle tables were empty as the Surrey wives descended like a plague of locusts and devoured the velvet bedspreads, bath sheets, terry towelling robes and scented candles in one foul swoop. They operated in pairs, one standing in the hour long queue to pay whilst the other one frantically rummaged, then they swapped places. These ladies were pros. I didn't stand a chance. Freelance frugality fail.

Having made the effort to go, I had to buy something so I picked up a rather lovely silk shirt and a pair of black jersey harem trousers, each a tenner and paid £40 for this woollen herringbone monster that I can trip over every time I walk into the living room.

We don't need anymore bedding anyway.

How to use social media to build career confidence in motherhood

As I wrestled the giant supermarket shopping trolley through the sliding doors I glanced at the woman walking in, she did the same. Even after a decade, she hadn't changed a bit, at least in my eyes.

Blondie and I worked together in broadcasting when the TV industry was revolutionising itself for the digital age. This was pre economic downturn days when marketing budgets were fat and we were encouraged to be bold and innovate. The hours were long but the can-do spirit of the mostly female team meant that it didn't feel like work a lot of the time.

"Sometimes I just look at myself and I wonder what I've become," Blondie said. We met for coffee today.

Sitting in front of me was a fresh faced, intelligent, funny, go-getting woman who wants to get back to her marketing career. "I met a recruitment consultant the other day who only left university two years ago, what must he have thought of me?"

During the 4 years she has been raising her children,  Blondie worked on ad hoc campaigns for local businesses and charities, kept up her trade publication subscriptions, volunteered at a drop in centre and attended digital marketing courses.

I have every confidence that Blondie will find a job now that she's put her mind to it. She knows her worth economically but from talking to her I could tell that going back to work was huge leap of faith emotionally which I could relate to.

Shortly after returning from maternity leave I attended a company conference - after many years of practice I was ready for the relentless work hard play hard agenda of the week.  I'll never forget one of the male interns saying to me one morning, "I love it when you mums come to the conference and let rip on the dance floor." I keenly pointed out to him that 'we mums' were behaving exactly the same way at the conference before any of us had children. There were dads on the dance floor too. He didn't mean any harm but whether I liked it or not, some of my colleagues had stuck a new label on me.

Society tries to beat the sassiness out of women when they become mums, the assumption is that you've lost your edge and are incapable of playing the same game as everyone else i.e people without kids and men. It's sad when women start to believe it.

I'm not going to go all Sheryl Sandberg on you and start preaching the virtues of leaning in, but as someone who has recently left full time corporate life to build a freelance business,  I've learnt that confidence is the single most important attribute to a mother wanting to re-enter or stay in the workforce. You have to believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who feel the same. If you can't physically surround yourself with those people, you can certainly do it online.

Since I started this blog 3 months ago, one of the greatest rewards has been to discover like minded women who've reinvented themselves since motherhood and are creating opportunities for other women to do the same. There's Molly Gunn who launched the fantastic Selfish Mother blogzine, the business workshops run by Mothers Meeting, social media training and recruitment outfit Digital Mums and the the young women's mentoring scheme Inspiring the Future to name but a few. Women helping women to be happy and succeed is one of the key narratives being played out on my thread.

Blogging whilst mothering has forced me to take advantage of the web to build my skills from home. I've attended virtual workshops, participated in twitter chats, invested in online toolkits and design software and taught myself basic coding. With every new follower, every reader comment or Facebook like, I have grown in confidence. I've curated a social media list of influencers to keep myself up to date with industry trends and genuinely feel that I'm as plugged in as I ever was, albeit in my sweatpants.

Thank you women of the internet for inspiring me to reach for the stars, for teaching me new skills, for making me laugh, for listening, for accepting and for bringing us all together.


Related post How work defines you. Changing careers for motherhood

Chinese Year of the Sheep - Wool it be a good one?

Last year we invited friends round to celebrate Chinese New Year but our favourite Cantonese delivery service was so overwhelmed they stopped taking orders resulting in us sharing a Nandos family meal instead. That pretty much summed it up - 2014 was a let down on so many levels.

The world lunged from one humanitarian crisis to another, religious extremism took an even darker turn, our political leaders went a bit flaccid as did the economy, we lost an plane in mid air, the UK almost lost Scotland, Hong Kong lost its democracy and Kim Kardashian broke the internet with her bum. Good-bye Year of the Horse, off you trot.

Hello Year of the Sheep. Are you going to use your calm, placid nature to bring back some balance and serenity? According to the astrologers, this is a good year for fostering creativity, ending conflict and creating harmony. Are you furry friends really up to the challenge?

Even if you don't believe in horoscopes or unicorns (surely you believe in unicorns), please take a moment to read this outlook for the Year of the Sheep 2015 and imagine how the next 12 months could take shape if we all took heed to this guidance.

"Allow the calming balms of the Sheep's vibrations to flow through you and through you, touch every heart you meet."

Sounds lovely doesn't it.

Kung Hei Fat Choi